Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em, Getting Good People to Stay

Sharon Jordan-Evans Book

Sharon Jordan-Evans is a pioneer in the field of employee retention and engagement. She has practiced organizational development for 20 years, specializing in change management, leadership development, and executive coaching. She is currently president of the Jordan Evans Group, works with executive teams, and coaches senior leaders as they strive to improve morale, commitment, and productivity within their companies.

Jordan-Evan’s specialties include: executive coaching, strategic competency development, retention strategies, and high performance team building.

Sharon and her writing partner, Beverly Kaye, have co-authored two best selling books that have revolutionized the way employers and employees think about the workplace.

Their first book, Love ‘Em or Lose ‘Em: Getting Good People to Stay, was written for managers and addresses one of their most important concerns: engaging and retaining their best employees.

Their second book, Love It, Don’t Leave It: 26 Ways to Get What You Want at Work, was written for the employees themselves. It teaches them how to get what they want out of the job, and how to be more productive and happier in the process.

We talked with Sharon Jordan-Evans today about developing others:

  • Why is direct feedback so important for employees?
  • What are some of the reasons that managers don’t give feedback?
  • What is mentoring and why is it important?
  • What does a mentor do?
  • What is the leader’s responsibility in teaching about what is going on in the organization?
  • What are the main things employees want in an organization that helps them decide to stay?


Without feedback you are not going to be able to move the needle on either job satisfaction or effectiveness. Without it we operate in an information void. We either think we are doing just great and actually we could be doing better, or sometimes we think we are not doing all that great and we are doing just fine.

One of the reasons people leave organizations is because they are not getting feedback; the manager isn’t giving them queues about how they are doing. Generationally, there is an interesting difference; the younger generations are used to feedback, expect feedback, and will be highly dissatisfied without it.

People really crave both positive and corrective feedback.

Why Don’t Managers Give Feedback? Here’s an example:

Sharon was coaching an executive, and he asked her to check in with his boss from time to time to see what his boss was viewing and see if some of his behaviors were changing for the better. So, she checked in with his boss, a really nice guy and the boss said, “Well, I think he’s doing well. There is one thing though. In meetings he tends to dominate and puts his ideas out there. He’s kind of oppressive and he tends to shut conversation down so other people don’t offer up their ideas.” She said, “Oh, have you given him that feedback?” His answer was, “No, would you do it?” She told him, “Well, I’m the coach, you’re the boss. It really should come from you.”

The boss was very uncomfortable and said, “First of all, it’s my opinion; maybe nobody else thinks that. Secondly, this culture is kind of a polite culture, we don’t really do that–we don’t tell people the negative stuff like that. Thirdly, and most importantly, what if I offend him? This guy is one of my key players. He is a star. I don’t know what to tell him, I might offend him. What if he leaves or disengages?”

The boss needed to be coached on how to give feedback, he didn’t know how to approach him and give feedback the correct way.

Join us as we talk with Sharon Jordan-Evans and discuss the key factors above. You can listen to the complete recording, without commercials, above.

Coach’s Corner

Managing Snapshot Management

This is another of the 108 strategies from Leading with Emotional Intelligence.

Norma was an engineer who came to executive coaching because she had “rough edges.” This is a common expression in the corporate world for someone who needs more emotional intelligence. She was technically very sound and valued in the organization. Other employees though, had complained to her boss and human resources department that she yelled at them, was impatient, irritated at interruptions and could be very condescending.

As I described “Snapshot Management” to her I held up my hand and explained she had 4-5 opportunities to crystalize her reputation or story with others. How many did she think were positive, I asked? She said two or three and I knew it was more like one or two.  Read more…


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